Truth - I don't feel beautiful everyday. Despite being told so by my husband. Despite hearing it from sisterfriends. Despite people saying how beautiful my daughters are and how much they look like me.
Some days it does not ring true in my soul. Some days the reflection staring back at me from the mirror or glass-front building is a woman with miles and miles to go. It's not that I feel like I lack any particular attractiveness. I just don't feel beautiful.
Attractiveness is external. Beauty is deep. It's from the core of your being.
When someone doesn't feel beautiful (when I don't feel beautiful) it's difficult to act beautiful. It's difficult to smile or shine or be polite or let things roll off my back. It's difficult to breathe.
In order to be consistently beautiful, a person must see God in themself. Admittedly, there are many days when I look at the reflection and don't see God looking back at all. There's only me. There are many days when I have not wanted to see God looking back, for fear that He may be disappointed in what He sees.
Have you ever stood in a mirror and used the reflection to see someone behind you? Have you noticed that your reflected self can sometimes see beyond what you see yourself? At the very least, it has a different vantage point and can sometimes notice things you may have missed - like the person making rabbit ears behind your head or someone sneaking up to hug you. Suppose - the next time you're in a mirror - that the reflected self is the face of God. What would your reflection see in you? What would it see around you? Or behind you? Would your reflected self be pleased? Would your reflection be beautiful?
"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well."
My soul may know very well, but oftentimes, my flesh forgets. And when my flesh forgets - I will thank you to remind me. Tap me on my shoulder and remind me that I am beautiful because I look like my Father. And I will do the same for you.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
UFO Abduction
In our universe as we travel around the Son, occassionally we are visited by UFOs. While I do believe that there is likely life on other planet (vanity tells us otherwise), the UFOs to which I refer are not Unidentified Flying Objects. The UFOs that I see regularly and clearly are Unwanted Faith Obstacles.
They light up the sky. They distract us from what we know to be reality. They cause us to doubt our place on the planet.
These UFOs are present and lurking just behind every cloud. In places where we should see silver linings, instead we see UFOs. Perhaps, like me, you have had days where the whole world seems to be in order that are followed by days that seem to come for the sole purpose to steal the joy of the day before. This is a UFO - Unwanted Faith Obstacle - abduction.
We have a choice. We can go willingly with the adbuctor, participate in the experiment and be returned to our families a shell of who we were. We could take the "Close Encounters" approach and fight off the aliens. Either way - it seems there will be some battle wounds. It's hard to come in contact (brief or extended) with a UFO and walk away unchanged.
Perhaps we should take the astronomer's approach and watch for them, study them & learn how to interact with them in a peaceful way. We should remember our last encounter and figure out what we could have done differently in the last battle.
If they land successfully on your planet, they will call their friends. What happens next is up to us. We can try to take them on by ourselves, or we can take them to our leader.
As for me, I'm in Will Smith "Independence Day" mode. I'm taking the fight to them. The UFOs that come for me, will not find the planet friendly. They can come. I know they will. They always do. But when they come, they should know that I am prepared to fight and I am backed by the Most High God.
They light up the sky. They distract us from what we know to be reality. They cause us to doubt our place on the planet.
These UFOs are present and lurking just behind every cloud. In places where we should see silver linings, instead we see UFOs. Perhaps, like me, you have had days where the whole world seems to be in order that are followed by days that seem to come for the sole purpose to steal the joy of the day before. This is a UFO - Unwanted Faith Obstacle - abduction.
We have a choice. We can go willingly with the adbuctor, participate in the experiment and be returned to our families a shell of who we were. We could take the "Close Encounters" approach and fight off the aliens. Either way - it seems there will be some battle wounds. It's hard to come in contact (brief or extended) with a UFO and walk away unchanged.
Perhaps we should take the astronomer's approach and watch for them, study them & learn how to interact with them in a peaceful way. We should remember our last encounter and figure out what we could have done differently in the last battle.
If they land successfully on your planet, they will call their friends. What happens next is up to us. We can try to take them on by ourselves, or we can take them to our leader.
As for me, I'm in Will Smith "Independence Day" mode. I'm taking the fight to them. The UFOs that come for me, will not find the planet friendly. They can come. I know they will. They always do. But when they come, they should know that I am prepared to fight and I am backed by the Most High God.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Gas Station God
So this entry won't be exactly a full sermon - it's more of a sidenote based on something that Pastor Robert Johnson said in his sermon this past Sunday.
Paraphrasing - he said that we want a tester size of God - just enough God that we can manage, but that a God that size cannot handle the monumental problems we sometime face.
That made me think about how we sometimes go to the gas station and either can't afford to or are just too cheap to fill up the tank. We buy (laughing at myself - I buy) $15 worth of gas for the Lincoln Navigator knowing it will take at least four times that much to fill the tank. Who are we trying to fool? Not only is that not enough gas to last any substantial amount of time, but we KNOW we'll be right back at the gas station later on the same week.
So we treat God this way. Showing up on Sundays and putting our little $15 in the tank - thinking that for some reason that $15 is going to stretch until next Sunday. Let's not blame God when we run out of gas on the side of the road . . . when it's Tuesday afternoon and we're all out of gas.
Fill your whole tank. Worship daily. Pray daily. Praise daily.
That's it for now. . . TJae
Paraphrasing - he said that we want a tester size of God - just enough God that we can manage, but that a God that size cannot handle the monumental problems we sometime face.
That made me think about how we sometimes go to the gas station and either can't afford to or are just too cheap to fill up the tank. We buy (laughing at myself - I buy) $15 worth of gas for the Lincoln Navigator knowing it will take at least four times that much to fill the tank. Who are we trying to fool? Not only is that not enough gas to last any substantial amount of time, but we KNOW we'll be right back at the gas station later on the same week.
So we treat God this way. Showing up on Sundays and putting our little $15 in the tank - thinking that for some reason that $15 is going to stretch until next Sunday. Let's not blame God when we run out of gas on the side of the road . . . when it's Tuesday afternoon and we're all out of gas.
Fill your whole tank. Worship daily. Pray daily. Praise daily.
That's it for now. . . TJae
Friday, August 27, 2010
Walking Forward
I feel quite fortunate that on many mornings I am able to hear God's voice. I say specifically mornings because it is the most quiet time in my day. It's the time when my house is still and many time - but not always - my heart is still too. Truthfully, there are some nights that I fall asleep with so much of the day still rolling around in my head, that it's hard to break that loose. The mornings following those nights - I find that my stillness is lacking. Some days I wonder where my stillness may have gone.
Many of the folks who know me, know I'm a Facebook fan. The messages that I get in my quiet time usually end up as a status update on my Facebook wall. Sometimes the words I hear speak directly to my current "place" - one thing I needed to know to make a situation right, or to learn a lesson I missed, or to make a point more clear, or to move to the next "place."
Sometimes the words I receive don't belong to me, but I know exactly who it's for. I dread those moments. The spirit wells up in me and I am pushed into action. Something people may not know about me is that I am very reluctant to offer advise. "What you should do is . . . " I don't mind, usually, sharing something about myself that relates to whatever place that person is in, if I believe in my heart it will help them. I also don't mind sharing things that I KNOW. Not what I heard, but what I KNOW. If I'm certain of something - I will fight 1,000 battles based on what I know to be true. Ask my husband and my Pastor - they know this about me. However, when I "hear" a message that I'm told to give to a specific person - whether or not I know the situation surrounding why they need the message - I face a great deal of trepidation in approaching them.
Sometimes - like this morning - I just hear a phrase that feels profound to me. I don't know who it's meant for. It could very easily be for me. It could very easily be for someone I know. It could also, just as easily, be meant to share for whomever might have been needing just those words. Today it is a question. "Have you ever noticed how much extra time and concentration it takes to walk backward?"
I heard the question in my spirit and I immediately made it my Facebook status. It was meant for somebody in that instant.
The more the question plays back (words tend to haunt me), the more I can see the literal action of walking backward. Try it. I dare you. Is your line straight? What's behind you? Do you feel balanced or just a bit off center? What is your purpose for walking backward?
Your knees bend in the direction that God means for your legs to move. Why do something that is counter-intuitive to your nature?
One of the earliest reference in Scripture is Exodus 14:15, "Tell the children of Israel to go forward." And if we look at all they went through - just up to this point - we'd be hard pressed to ask the question - Why do they want to walk backward? Some of us find ourselves in similar (although perhaps not as drastic) situations. Where we know the hell we left, but still feel compelled to walk backward. Just for kicks, I'd like to point out another passage in this chapter. In verse 8 we are told that "the Lord hardened the heart of Pharaoh" and tells us further that it was this hardness that made him pursue the children of Israel and that same hardness of Pharaoh's heart that made the children of Israel leave with boldness.
Sometimes God will send you an adversary to make you want to fight for what is yours already.
And then fear kicks in and worry and doubt and we forget all about walking by faith. We want to go back to the comfort of the known - even if the known is detrimental to our health and/or our well-being. "Tell the children of Israel to go forward." And when they do - God does what He always does when we are obedient - He protects them. If you are like me, your first encounter with this story may have been the 1956 version of the movie "The Ten Commandments" starring Charleton Heston. There's that scene when Moses stretches out his rod and the Red Sea splits and just as the last child of Israel makes it across - the waters come crashing down on Pharaoh's Army.
Some of us never make it to the parting of the seas. And some of us - once we have witnessed the sea crashing down on the stuff that was meant to die - still want to go swimming back through all the damaged-filled waters to the person, place or thing we fought so hard to escape.
Have you ever noticed how much time and concentration it takes to walk backward?
Ecclesiastes 7:10 warns us, "Do not say, "Why were the former days better than these?" For you do not inquire wisely concerning this." In other words - walk forward. Walk forward knowing that your best days - our best days - are ahead and not behind.
Rejoice knowing that God does what God says. And remember to use the knees God gave you - both for bending as you walk forward and for kneeling down upon to pray.
Many of the folks who know me, know I'm a Facebook fan. The messages that I get in my quiet time usually end up as a status update on my Facebook wall. Sometimes the words I hear speak directly to my current "place" - one thing I needed to know to make a situation right, or to learn a lesson I missed, or to make a point more clear, or to move to the next "place."
Sometimes the words I receive don't belong to me, but I know exactly who it's for. I dread those moments. The spirit wells up in me and I am pushed into action. Something people may not know about me is that I am very reluctant to offer advise. "What you should do is . . . " I don't mind, usually, sharing something about myself that relates to whatever place that person is in, if I believe in my heart it will help them. I also don't mind sharing things that I KNOW. Not what I heard, but what I KNOW. If I'm certain of something - I will fight 1,000 battles based on what I know to be true. Ask my husband and my Pastor - they know this about me. However, when I "hear" a message that I'm told to give to a specific person - whether or not I know the situation surrounding why they need the message - I face a great deal of trepidation in approaching them.
Sometimes - like this morning - I just hear a phrase that feels profound to me. I don't know who it's meant for. It could very easily be for me. It could very easily be for someone I know. It could also, just as easily, be meant to share for whomever might have been needing just those words. Today it is a question. "Have you ever noticed how much extra time and concentration it takes to walk backward?"
I heard the question in my spirit and I immediately made it my Facebook status. It was meant for somebody in that instant.
The more the question plays back (words tend to haunt me), the more I can see the literal action of walking backward. Try it. I dare you. Is your line straight? What's behind you? Do you feel balanced or just a bit off center? What is your purpose for walking backward?
Your knees bend in the direction that God means for your legs to move. Why do something that is counter-intuitive to your nature?
One of the earliest reference in Scripture is Exodus 14:15, "Tell the children of Israel to go forward." And if we look at all they went through - just up to this point - we'd be hard pressed to ask the question - Why do they want to walk backward? Some of us find ourselves in similar (although perhaps not as drastic) situations. Where we know the hell we left, but still feel compelled to walk backward. Just for kicks, I'd like to point out another passage in this chapter. In verse 8 we are told that "the Lord hardened the heart of Pharaoh" and tells us further that it was this hardness that made him pursue the children of Israel and that same hardness of Pharaoh's heart that made the children of Israel leave with boldness.
Sometimes God will send you an adversary to make you want to fight for what is yours already.
And then fear kicks in and worry and doubt and we forget all about walking by faith. We want to go back to the comfort of the known - even if the known is detrimental to our health and/or our well-being. "Tell the children of Israel to go forward." And when they do - God does what He always does when we are obedient - He protects them. If you are like me, your first encounter with this story may have been the 1956 version of the movie "The Ten Commandments" starring Charleton Heston. There's that scene when Moses stretches out his rod and the Red Sea splits and just as the last child of Israel makes it across - the waters come crashing down on Pharaoh's Army.
Some of us never make it to the parting of the seas. And some of us - once we have witnessed the sea crashing down on the stuff that was meant to die - still want to go swimming back through all the damaged-filled waters to the person, place or thing we fought so hard to escape.
Have you ever noticed how much time and concentration it takes to walk backward?
Ecclesiastes 7:10 warns us, "Do not say, "Why were the former days better than these?" For you do not inquire wisely concerning this." In other words - walk forward. Walk forward knowing that your best days - our best days - are ahead and not behind.
Rejoice knowing that God does what God says. And remember to use the knees God gave you - both for bending as you walk forward and for kneeling down upon to pray.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Taking on Cancer
Cancer is a term used for diseases in which abnormal cells divide without control and are able to invade other tissues.
All cancers begin in cells, the body's basic unit of life. To understand cancer, it's helpful to know what happens when normal cells become cancer cells.
The body is made up of many types of cells. These cells grow and divide in a controlled way to produce more cells as they are needed to keep the body healthy. When cells become old or damaged, they die and are replaced with new cells.
However, sometimes this orderly process goes wrong. The genetic material (DNA) of a cell can become damaged or changed, producing mutations that affect normal cell growth and division. When this happens, cells do not die when they should and new cells form when the body does not need them. The extra cells may form a mass of tissue called a tumor.
Not all tumors are cancerous; tumors can be benign or malignant.
Benign tumors aren't cancerous. They can often be removed, and, in most cases, they do not come back. Cells in benign tumors do not spread to other parts of the body.
Malignant tumors are cancerous. Cells in these tumors can invade nearby tissues and spread to other parts of the body. The spread of cancer from one part of the body to another is called metastasis. (Taken from the National Cancer Institute Website - www.cancer.gov)
Ever had a moment when you knew exactly what you wanted to say, but couldn't quite find the words? That's where I find myself right now. I am dealing with something internally that can best be described as a Cancer. I know it to be cancer because it is acting very much in the way that is described by the National Cancer Institute. I am experiencing it in much the same way that one might experience thirst. It's not a feeling you can readily describe to someone who is not now, nor has never been thirsty. However, once someone has had that experience, they know exactly what you mean.
This Cancer that I am taking on is not physical. I do not want anyone reading this right now to leave with that thought. That thought - as much as the one I am trying to share - I rebuke in the Name of Jesus. The Cancer that I am taking on right now is spiritual. It began either in my head or in my heart . . . not sure which. Either way, it started as a negative thought, feeling, experience, circumstance, occurance, behavior . . . either real or imagined. And it has snowballed . . .formed a tumor . . . and has begun to metastisize. No matter its origin (head or heart) it didn't take long for the cancer to spread to the other organ . . .head affecting heart or heart affecting head - result is the same. Both the head and the heart are infected. And once the head and heart are involved it doesn't take long to spead to other parts of the body - family, friends, work.
It most likely started as something small. Cells are pretty darned small. And then it encountered some 'like' cell and attached itself. It felt powerful there and continued to grow. Well, you're probably asking, if I knew it was there, why didn't I treat it when it was small? My answer is not a good one, but it is similar to what I've heard from cancer patients. "I knew I was feeling bad, but I thought the feeling would go away." "I thought it was something minor, so I did not think it warranted my attention."
Once the cancer has been diagnosed then you send yourself down that long pity path of "woulda, coulda, shoulda." Once the cancer has been diagnosed you can either let it continue to eat away at your body, or you can pray and seek treatment. Depending on how far the cancer has spread, the treatment may be simple. Some skin (surface) cancers can be removed with a laser - you aim it right at the troubled spot and remove it before it has a chance to touch anything else. The same can be said for some tumors - you can remove just that tumor and never see traces of that cancer again. However, sometimes, the treatment plan has to be highly detailed, involved, strategic, radical, envasive . . . sometimes, the cancer spreads when the initial spot is opened up.
Does anyone out there relate to this? Or am I the only cancer patient?
Sometimes doctors fear the removal of a tumor - thinking that treating the affected area will cause irreparable damage to some other organ. The key word in that sentence is fear. We fear, so we do nothing. Meanwhile, the cancer continues to spread. There must be a better solution. Perhaps we proceed with additional caution. I could buy that. We take our time; we seek to only treat the affected area(s). And if, while we act to treat the part that is sick, we accidently hurt something else, we work while there is still a cavity and repair it too. We do not close up the wound while there are still areas that need treatment.
I dunno - maybe I'm just ramblin. It sounded good in my head.
Father God, on behalf of all the cancer patients out there like me - suffering from spiritual cancer - we seek your Divine Intervention. We know that no surgical team or laser can come close to the precision with which You operate. Go, Father, straight to the source of the problem and remove it so that it does not continue to affect the rapidly decaying body. Heal, Father, that area, so that there was never any sign that the cancer existed. Treat, Father, all other areas where the cancer thought it stood a chance to grow - so that they are resistant and do not become affected or infected. Forgive us for being lazy in seeking treatment and for not acknowledging pain as an indication that something was wrong. Help us to seek wholistic treatment and live healthier lives so that the cancer does not have a chance to form again. We know that in Your hands there is nothing that cannot be accomplished. And so, we remove this from our hands and place it into Yours. And we offer this prayer in the Name of Your Son Jesus. Amen.
All cancers begin in cells, the body's basic unit of life. To understand cancer, it's helpful to know what happens when normal cells become cancer cells.
The body is made up of many types of cells. These cells grow and divide in a controlled way to produce more cells as they are needed to keep the body healthy. When cells become old or damaged, they die and are replaced with new cells.
However, sometimes this orderly process goes wrong. The genetic material (DNA) of a cell can become damaged or changed, producing mutations that affect normal cell growth and division. When this happens, cells do not die when they should and new cells form when the body does not need them. The extra cells may form a mass of tissue called a tumor.
Not all tumors are cancerous; tumors can be benign or malignant.
Benign tumors aren't cancerous. They can often be removed, and, in most cases, they do not come back. Cells in benign tumors do not spread to other parts of the body.
Malignant tumors are cancerous. Cells in these tumors can invade nearby tissues and spread to other parts of the body. The spread of cancer from one part of the body to another is called metastasis. (Taken from the National Cancer Institute Website - www.cancer.gov)
Ever had a moment when you knew exactly what you wanted to say, but couldn't quite find the words? That's where I find myself right now. I am dealing with something internally that can best be described as a Cancer. I know it to be cancer because it is acting very much in the way that is described by the National Cancer Institute. I am experiencing it in much the same way that one might experience thirst. It's not a feeling you can readily describe to someone who is not now, nor has never been thirsty. However, once someone has had that experience, they know exactly what you mean.
This Cancer that I am taking on is not physical. I do not want anyone reading this right now to leave with that thought. That thought - as much as the one I am trying to share - I rebuke in the Name of Jesus. The Cancer that I am taking on right now is spiritual. It began either in my head or in my heart . . . not sure which. Either way, it started as a negative thought, feeling, experience, circumstance, occurance, behavior . . . either real or imagined. And it has snowballed . . .formed a tumor . . . and has begun to metastisize. No matter its origin (head or heart) it didn't take long for the cancer to spread to the other organ . . .head affecting heart or heart affecting head - result is the same. Both the head and the heart are infected. And once the head and heart are involved it doesn't take long to spead to other parts of the body - family, friends, work.
It most likely started as something small. Cells are pretty darned small. And then it encountered some 'like' cell and attached itself. It felt powerful there and continued to grow. Well, you're probably asking, if I knew it was there, why didn't I treat it when it was small? My answer is not a good one, but it is similar to what I've heard from cancer patients. "I knew I was feeling bad, but I thought the feeling would go away." "I thought it was something minor, so I did not think it warranted my attention."
Once the cancer has been diagnosed then you send yourself down that long pity path of "woulda, coulda, shoulda." Once the cancer has been diagnosed you can either let it continue to eat away at your body, or you can pray and seek treatment. Depending on how far the cancer has spread, the treatment may be simple. Some skin (surface) cancers can be removed with a laser - you aim it right at the troubled spot and remove it before it has a chance to touch anything else. The same can be said for some tumors - you can remove just that tumor and never see traces of that cancer again. However, sometimes, the treatment plan has to be highly detailed, involved, strategic, radical, envasive . . . sometimes, the cancer spreads when the initial spot is opened up.
Does anyone out there relate to this? Or am I the only cancer patient?
Sometimes doctors fear the removal of a tumor - thinking that treating the affected area will cause irreparable damage to some other organ. The key word in that sentence is fear. We fear, so we do nothing. Meanwhile, the cancer continues to spread. There must be a better solution. Perhaps we proceed with additional caution. I could buy that. We take our time; we seek to only treat the affected area(s). And if, while we act to treat the part that is sick, we accidently hurt something else, we work while there is still a cavity and repair it too. We do not close up the wound while there are still areas that need treatment.
I dunno - maybe I'm just ramblin. It sounded good in my head.
Father God, on behalf of all the cancer patients out there like me - suffering from spiritual cancer - we seek your Divine Intervention. We know that no surgical team or laser can come close to the precision with which You operate. Go, Father, straight to the source of the problem and remove it so that it does not continue to affect the rapidly decaying body. Heal, Father, that area, so that there was never any sign that the cancer existed. Treat, Father, all other areas where the cancer thought it stood a chance to grow - so that they are resistant and do not become affected or infected. Forgive us for being lazy in seeking treatment and for not acknowledging pain as an indication that something was wrong. Help us to seek wholistic treatment and live healthier lives so that the cancer does not have a chance to form again. We know that in Your hands there is nothing that cannot be accomplished. And so, we remove this from our hands and place it into Yours. And we offer this prayer in the Name of Your Son Jesus. Amen.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Whole Armor?
We Christians are very quick sometimes to offer Scripture to one another when we are in a tight spot or time of crisis - as we should. And from time to time, we even remember to offer the Scripture to ourselves. If we are calm and still and listening - the Scripture we need will come to us as a gift from the Holy Spirit. And depending on where we are in our pain, we either welcome the gift and we turn our noses up at it - "Is that all you got?"
If I may be transparent for a moment - I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling with service. I'm struggling with commitment. I'm struggling with sacrifice. I'm struggling in relationships. I'm struggling to be heard and to be understood - to hear and to understand. And this morning, when I heard the Holy Spirit ask me if I had put on the "whole armor of God," I turned my nose up and asked - Is that all you got? Don't you see me hurting here?
Of course, I immediately felt convicted. Who am I to question the Holy Spirit?
So I did what I do when I need an answer - I asked the question. Father what am I supposed to hear, say, feel or do? So what I did next was read. Still being transparent - I know enough about the Bible to know there's plenty I don't know. One of the things I'm hoping to get better at, is being able to know where things are located in the Bible. For now - I'm so glad the Bible is available online and that you can search for keywords. Searching for "armor" got me way more than I wanted. Searching for "armor of God" took me right where I needed to be - Ephesians 6: 10-20.
The Armor of God
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints-- 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
What I've found is that I do not carry the whole armor of God at all times. Turn to your neighbor and say "battlescars." Even at the beginning of a new battle, if you are not wearing new armor, you will walk out the house with armor that has battlescars. Brand new armor can withstand a lot more abuse. It's so shiny, it might even blind your enemy before they have a chance to attack. But me . . . I've been wearing this same ol' beat down, busted up armor for a while and even when I've put it in the shop to be repaired, there are still a few places where there's a ding or a rust spot.
Have you ever gotten a suit or dress back from the cleaners and they had one of those tags on it that says, "We're sorry, but we were unable to remove the set in stain"?
It is verse 14 where I know (at least today) my armor is in need of the most repair. "Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness"
I struggle because I know what looks like truth to me - and I know this may not be exactly the truth of God. And so here I am with "my truth" wrapped tightly 'round my waist. . . and what is it holding up anyway - since I've misplaced my breastplate. I've borrowed one temporarily from "Painful Places, Inc." It's too small and doesn't do a good job of covering my heart. This is the second one I borrowed from them. The first one was mis-labeled. I was looking for the breastplate of righteousness and instead wound up with the breastplate of self-righteousness. I had to RUN take that back.
There are days when one might think - today is not a good day to leave the house since my armor is all jacked up. But since we are reminded, in verse 12, that "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places" - then we know that even if we chose to stay inside, the evil will find us. So we have to be, as I've heard it said, "suited and booted" even in our own house.
If your armor is raggedy like mine - I'm suggesting that you trade it in. Don't go borrowing other folks armor that wasn't designed for you. Don't think you can make it - just today - without any one piece. They are equally vital to your health and your well-being. Next time you see me, I hope you have to wear shades to protect yourself from the shine in my new armor. And likewise, I hope I have to wear shades to protect myself from the shine in yours.
If I may be transparent for a moment - I'm struggling right now. I'm struggling with service. I'm struggling with commitment. I'm struggling with sacrifice. I'm struggling in relationships. I'm struggling to be heard and to be understood - to hear and to understand. And this morning, when I heard the Holy Spirit ask me if I had put on the "whole armor of God," I turned my nose up and asked - Is that all you got? Don't you see me hurting here?
Of course, I immediately felt convicted. Who am I to question the Holy Spirit?
So I did what I do when I need an answer - I asked the question. Father what am I supposed to hear, say, feel or do? So what I did next was read. Still being transparent - I know enough about the Bible to know there's plenty I don't know. One of the things I'm hoping to get better at, is being able to know where things are located in the Bible. For now - I'm so glad the Bible is available online and that you can search for keywords. Searching for "armor" got me way more than I wanted. Searching for "armor of God" took me right where I needed to be - Ephesians 6: 10-20.
The Armor of God
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints-- 19 and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
What I've found is that I do not carry the whole armor of God at all times. Turn to your neighbor and say "battlescars." Even at the beginning of a new battle, if you are not wearing new armor, you will walk out the house with armor that has battlescars. Brand new armor can withstand a lot more abuse. It's so shiny, it might even blind your enemy before they have a chance to attack. But me . . . I've been wearing this same ol' beat down, busted up armor for a while and even when I've put it in the shop to be repaired, there are still a few places where there's a ding or a rust spot.
Have you ever gotten a suit or dress back from the cleaners and they had one of those tags on it that says, "We're sorry, but we were unable to remove the set in stain"?
It is verse 14 where I know (at least today) my armor is in need of the most repair. "Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness"
I struggle because I know what looks like truth to me - and I know this may not be exactly the truth of God. And so here I am with "my truth" wrapped tightly 'round my waist. . . and what is it holding up anyway - since I've misplaced my breastplate. I've borrowed one temporarily from "Painful Places, Inc." It's too small and doesn't do a good job of covering my heart. This is the second one I borrowed from them. The first one was mis-labeled. I was looking for the breastplate of righteousness and instead wound up with the breastplate of self-righteousness. I had to RUN take that back.
There are days when one might think - today is not a good day to leave the house since my armor is all jacked up. But since we are reminded, in verse 12, that "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places" - then we know that even if we chose to stay inside, the evil will find us. So we have to be, as I've heard it said, "suited and booted" even in our own house.
If your armor is raggedy like mine - I'm suggesting that you trade it in. Don't go borrowing other folks armor that wasn't designed for you. Don't think you can make it - just today - without any one piece. They are equally vital to your health and your well-being. Next time you see me, I hope you have to wear shades to protect yourself from the shine in my new armor. And likewise, I hope I have to wear shades to protect myself from the shine in yours.
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